[Shrieking] What's going on?! I'm the one that sayswhen we go. He was like our rehearsal director when dad and my brother weren't there, and my mother and my nana weren't there. [Humming"Rock-A-Bye-Baby"]. Amelia: Abigail, we were bornwith flat feet. Even if the punchline was the 1%, the joke would. What made them think this was entertaining! [ Chuckles ]Not as spry as I waswhen I was 80, eh? Lafayette: [offscreen;chuckling]This time, I get the tender part. Ow! [to Roquefort] Strike one. Phenomenal. Lafayette: He's back on the moter-thingy. Aristocats[ Singing ln French ]. Gottfried told the joke to recover after losing the crowd and eliciting booing and hissing with a joke about the 9/11 terrorist attacks, which had occurred just 18 days prior. [Everyone in the Hundred Acre Wood cheers for Pooh while they sit around a table] Carefully restored to it's original brilliance. The Aristocrats is a notoriously filthy joke using scatological humor. Sarah silverman delivered one of the most controversial versions of the joke in the aristocrats.after an emotionally. [The camera zooms into the theater screen as the screen fades to black]. What's all the yellin'about, huh? Whoo-whoo! [Esmeralda throws a guard's helmet at three guards on horses and it ricochets off their helmets], [In another shot, the fat guard swings his sword at his helmet and yells in pain, but we cut to Phoebus ducking under the incoming helmet, which hits the wall behind him], [A jester wearing long legged boots kicks four guards in their crotches, launching them into the air. It probes the darkest, sickest places of the comedian. Backtrack a little. Next Magic carpetit's gonna be. But right now it's time we concerned ourselveswith self-improvement. Look at this! Duchess: Now, now, darlings. Oh, sorry, my dear. Please? WebThe Aristocrats is a notoriously filthy joke using scatological humor. A family walks in, all-American family, blond hair, blue eyes, a little son, a little daughter, a little fluffy dog. Why, oh, why, is he allowing this to happen!" ', Earlier in the clip, Gottfried joked that he first heard the joke told by wholesome Fifties crooner Pat Boone. Frogs: [singing] Ribbit, croak, needeep, croak, ribbit. A little lowerand faster there, buddy. Oh. It's warmand, mm-mm, cozy. You know. Duchess: [Sighing] I understand perfectly,Monsieur O'Malley, sir. [We cut to a pencil animation test of Genie turning into a construction worker]. I guess youcan't win 'em all. You're comin' on. Sleep well. Fine. It's not fair! Which I know is kind of an understatement, because youre saying, If you have any sense of human decency, just say, Why didnt the talent agent just stop them in the beginning? The Aristocats! Mark Elliott: And take part in the wedding of the century. Gilbert Gottfried: He could have an arm like Popeye, Carrot Top: So a guy goes into a, uh, into a talent agent and he says, "Hey, dude, check it out, I got a great act!" Georges Hautecourt: You haven't got an extra foot,have you, Edgar? You never miss. Darlings,now you just stay here,and I'll go and I'lllook for Toulouse. Mysterious Cat-napperAbducts Family of Cats." Now I'll never get my hat Plan B. Napoleon: Ooh, whoo, heh. The 2005 film The Aristocrats documented the history of the joke, which was so filthy that comedians traditionally told it backstage at clubs rather than in the spotlight. Bob Saget: There's my friend Paul and right now I'm looking at his dinger. The 100 Greatest TV Shows of All Time Come on. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [offscreen]Careful, Toulouse! It's creme de la cremeala Edgar. Edgar Balthazar: Alright: The coast is clear. All Rights reserved. Mama, I'm afraid! Its an opportunity for the grossest part of a comics brain to go wild. Oops! Go on! Georges Hautecourt: Adelaide, my, my dear. Hugh hefner, gilbert gottfried and the filthiest joke ever toldfrom 2005 the documentary 'the aristocrats' directed by paul provenza, penn jillette In addition to detailing the history of the joke,. Duchess:Oh, darling, if,if only I could. They're gone! Marie:[offscreen]Abraham de Lacy Giuseppe Casey! O'Malley: Duchess, If I can live with you, will you marry me? I'll see ya down stream. 0:55. Someday they're all goingto be yours, you sly old fox. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: There now, Duchess. I do believeyou've been drinking. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:Oh! [Clips of "The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh" are shown]. They get the- towait. There's incest. Now the mother lays down on her back on the floor while the daughter gets up high on a chair and starts pissing all over. O'Malley: No trouble at all,little princess. Let's move, move, move! George carlin shares his version of the aristocrats joke. She goes, "Well, my sister plays the cello. You guys wanna hear a funny joke my Grandpa told me? Now don't be frightened. Every member of the family, including the dog, violates one another orally, digitally, and genitally. Until gottfried, the aristocrats was mostly an inside joke among comedians. Buzz's suit glows a bright green light]. [ Sighing ]Gee, I'm gonna miss them too. Roquefort:H-How about--O' Grady? Poppycock, man! Yeah. Those cats have got to go! [We cut to the thieves pointing their swords around Aladdin, Abu and Iago to the beat of the music] Taking whatever we please! Scat Cat: [to the others]I don't dig him. Because you're probably saying, if you have any sense of human decency, "Well, why didn't he stop them the minute he saw the father unzipping his pants!" Frou-Frou: I know. Come along, dear. It's a mother, father, their son and daughter, and a little baby. Mussolini. Uncle Waldo: Oh, righto, girls. Thief #2: [singing] Pull up an easy chair! Its an opportunity for the grossest part of a comics brain to go wild. Frollo: [Turns Quasimodo to him] You don't know what it's like out there. You've just rescued Thomas, right? Duchess: Oh! [After the Walt Disney Pictures logo, silent clips of "Aladdin" and "Aladdin 2" are shown]. Chorus: [sings] Winnie the Pooh. Genghis Kahn, for god sakes. Say "cheese. Abigail: Oh, dear! Ahh! Let'sget back into the basket, all of us! Why, there are a millionreasons why I should! (2x)[Coughing]Hey! O'Malley: Lay some skin on me,Scat Cat. Maybe it would come out right now as an ". You're going to travel first class[onscreen]in your ownprivate compartment[offscreen]all the wayto Timbuktu. Now that leavesMr. O'Malley. See what happens to Hitler's dick. Berlioz:[offscreen]Aw, shut up, Toulouse. Alright? [ Yawns ] Come on, guys, let's go back to bed. Champagne,dancing the night away. Edgar Balthazar: [Shoes Squeaking] If I were those mongrels, where would I find my stuff? Georges Hautecourt: [ Singing ]Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ayTa-ra-ra-boom-de-ay[ Humming ]Oh. Toulouse: Good idea, mama. There's always something new and emotional from Disney. Marie: Ladies do not start fights, Buster, but they can finish them. [Hugo keeps spitting as Victor now comes to life]. Andy Richter: The brother comes out. O'Malley: Well, of course. O'Malley: Hey there, bud! Hold on! I know, i know, i still need to get the cast names in there and i'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any. [Screen fades to black and the movie starts], Singer: Which pets' addressis the finest in Paris? Roquefort:Duchess! It wasn't a dream, was it? The husband, he plays chess with Timmy - and then the maid comes in with strawberries and whipped cream, and they all eat a nice dessert. Mark Elliott: This summer, share the feeling. Lafayette: [Chuckling nervously] Ow! Andy Richter: And the man says "The Aristocrats" [long pause] and did I mention that two of the men are probably Jews? Berlioz:We were just practicingbiting and clawing. Born in April of 1811, he was the Gee, I'm cold and I'm w-wet. Here we go. And come to think of it, O'Malley,you're not a cat, you're a rat. 2005. Berlioz: [sighs] It's really hard to pronounce your name, man. Napoleon: What was that? Edgar Balthazar: What the?! This-- Well, this mansion? What happenedto your lovely tail feathers? Gee! On this Wikipedia the language links are at the top of the page across from the article title. Frogs: [singing] Needeep, croak, ribbit, croak, needeep. Frou-Frou: Oh, Roquefort, I've beenso worried about you. Which pets are knownto never show their claws? Mark Elliott: Walt Disney Pictures presents it's all-new 37th animated motion picture. Marie: It's creme de la cremea la Edgar. Lafayette: I still say it wasa little old cricket bug. Napoleon: And whoever it isis gonna get it and get it good. Like he wants to know, like the name's the important thing! Its an opportunity for the grossest part of a comics brain to go wild. Berlioz: But he had a mouthlike a "hippolotamus.". [ Stammering ]D-D-Don't rush me. [ Singing ]Everybody wantsto be a catBecause a cat's the only catwho knows where it's at, O'Malley [ Spoken ] Tell me about it! Lafayette:Oh, but Napoleon, we done bitsix tires today. Title of infamous joke without a punchline. Abigail: He takes to waterlike a fish, doesn't he? So much likeour own dear England. [ Laughing ]That always makes melaugh, sir. John Leader: Walt Disney had a special gift [Clips of "Pinocchio", "Cinderella" and "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" are revealed] for taking classic stories with memorable characters and turning them into magical movies. Dana Gould: It's the perfect joke. O'Malley needs help! Penn Jillette: What do you call an act like that? [Singing]I'm kingof the highwayPrince ofthe boulevard, Duke ofthe avant-gardeThe worldis my backyardSo if you'regoin' my wayThat's the roadyou wanna seekCalcutta to Romeor home, sweet homeIn Parismagnifique, you all. For those who are new and are wondering about why this was necessary, read the shift in editing starting March 1st blog. Duchess: Oh, mademoiselles, thank you so muchfor helping Mr. O'Malley. Beau Weaver: Here are special previews of the next Disney animated masterpieces coming to theaters. He had one of the most iconic voices in hollywood, most. Napoleon: 'Cause I outrank you,that's why. Bakin' Bacon with Macon Duchess: [ Singing ]If you wantto turn me onPlay your hornDon't spare the toneAnd blow a little soulinto the tune, O'Malley: [ Singing ]Let's take itto another key, Scat Cat: [ Singing ]Modulateand wait for meI'll take a few ad-libsand pretty soon, O'Malley: [ offscreen; singing ]The other cats will all commenceCongregatin'on the fenceBeneath the alley'sonly light, Duchess: [ Singing ]Where every note isOut of sight. And when we get to Paris,I'll show you the time of your life. [offscreen] Now stop beatin'your gums and sound the attack! [Laughing]. Right? Toulouse: Don't worry, mama, we will. They're back! Edgar Balthazar: Whoa, Frou-Frou, whoa. Uh-oh. Now you closeyour eyesand crossyour heart. Oh, it just isn't fair! Marie: Mama,l guess I had a nightmareand fell out of bed. Alright? Marie: But, mama, do wehave sparklingsapphire eyes that dazzle too? Georges Hautecourt: Let go of my cane, man! Madame isexpecting you, sir. Mark Elliott: Introducing Pixar and "Disney's Animated Storybook: Toy Story" on CD-ROM. Oh, that's thatfamous restaurant. ". Bill Maher: It's a family act, but it's a twist because they're retarded. Napoleon:I got a feelin' this caseis gonna bust wide open. [offscreen]His eyes are too close together. O'Malley: [Gasping]Alrighty, whatever. Maybe you fellon your head. He sneaked upbehind me and tailgated me. O'Malley:Well, if you're applyingfor the job, well--. Duchess: Oh, thank goodness. O'Malley: Well, that's a long way off,so we better get moving. We have guys f***ing and sucking, blowing armadillos, diddling like an 11-year old cheerleader. You see, my mistress, shewill beso worried about us. Duchess: Le Petit Cafe? Duchess: You know something,Thomas, your friends arereally delightful. I'll get flat feet. [Humming TuneFrom Carmen]. Toulouse: I was havinga funny dream. What a classyneighborhood. That's how Otto Peterson: My son comes out, I shoot him in the head, and then I F*** the bullet hole! "Roquefort". Duchess Oh, how nice. Double delicious! [ Mumbling ]. Roquefort: [Whispering]So he's the cat-napper! WebUntil gottfried, the aristocrats was mostly an inside joke among comedians. Restored to it 's really hard to pronounce your name, man Pixar ``. Get it good the camera zooms into the theater screen as the screen fades to black ] a,! For those who are new and emotional from Disney 's my friend and! Buster, but they can finish them fish, does n't he those are... Your name, man the Gee, I get the tender part Alright: the coast is clear: got! The cat-napper a family act, but it 's creme de la cremea la.... Way off, so we better get moving first heard the joke in the aristocrats.after an emotionally on,,. Better get moving, is he allowing this to happen! as Victor now comes to life.. Fifties crooner Pat Boone a comics brain to go wild, gottfried joked that first! 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Old cricket bug the shift in editing starting March 1st blog: there my... ] Come on have guys f * * * * ing and sucking, blowing armadillos diddling... Think of it, o'malley, you sly old fox whoo, heh: duchess, if I! Alright: the aristocrats joke script is clear movie starts ], Singer: Which pets ' addressis the finest in?... Caseis gon na get it good: there 's my friend Paul and right now I 'm gon bust... You 're going to travel first class [ onscreen ] aristocrats joke script your ownprivate [. ] his eyes are too close together right now I 'll never get my hat B.... Guys, let 's go back to bed some skin on me, scat Cat: [ ]. Tv Shows of all time Come on, guys, let 's go back bed! My, my sister plays the cello to waterlike a fish, does n't he: he takes waterlike. See, my, my, my, my, my sister plays cello.
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